Filed under: offspring
After looking at a photo of this sweetie in his Buzz Lightyear costume:
Sport: “I want a Buzz costume!!”
Me: “Well, you can ask for that for your birthday, or maybe next Hallowe’en.”
Sport: “No, I want one for free.”
Me: “Then I guess you should start making one.”
Sport: “WHAT?? But I don’t even know HOW to knit!”
Filed under: offspring
I had an entire post written that consisted of nothing but whining, but I decided that even I don’t want to read that. Let’s just say it’s been a trying couple of weeks and leave it at that. So here’s another Sport-ism instead, since that is what y’all seem to like.
Next week Sport starts “Mad Science” on Mondays after school. He is wildly excited about this. He was telling Martha about it on the phone the other night, and she told him it sounded great, and he would learn all kinds of things about how the world worked.
His response (in that “duh” tone): “I already KNOW how the world work.”
Martha: “Oh, you do?”
Sport: “Yeah. It goes around and around in circles.”
Which is true on many levels, really.
In closing, I don’t want to become one of those stereotypical bragging parents, but I kind of can’t help myself. The photographer who took Sport’s school pictures this year called today. He wants to use Sport’s photo in their promotional material for next year. See, I KNEW he was the cutest one in the whole school. (Good thing that photo was taken before he became the toothless wonder that he is now.)
Filed under: offspring
as we were driving home…
“You know what I am going to make tonight? Action Figure Land. That is where all the Action Figures live. It will be humungous.”
“Mom. Did you know that the sun is really made of fire?”
“Well, yes, I did know that.”
“So why is it still so cold outside? It is freezing. We had indoor recess AGAIN.”
“I wish we were home already. Because home is my favourite place.”
“Oh, that’s good! Home is my favourite place too.”
“Plus I’m hungry and that is where the food is.”
“Mom. Did you know that in Ben 10, they had the thing with tricks, and they pretended it was the one that DIDN’T have tricks, and then Gwen threw it, but really it wasn’t. (sigh) That was the best Ben 10 EVER.”
I guess Luke is not a Diego fan.
Donde esta mi cabeza?
I’m totally hiding the evidence, in case you are wondering. Sport doesn’t play with Diego much any more so he may never notice it’s gone.
Filed under: random whining
The guy who parked on the wrong side of the street while I was dropping Sport off at school, thereby boxing me in my parking spot. (Him, after finally emerging: “Oh, can’t you get out?” Me: “No, since my car does not actually have hover capability.” )
The parents at Sport’s before & after school care who think the giant sign saying “Please remove outdoor footwear before coming downstairs” does not apply to them. So those of us who do remove our outdoor footwear get our socks soaked tromping through the slush they have tracked in. And here’s the part that really pisses me off: how on EARTH do they expect their child to respect school rules when the parent is disobeying them right in front of the kid? (Other parent in sock feet: “Oh, great, now I’m going to have wet feet all day.” Me, while glaring at the jackass coming up the stairs behind us in his mucky shoes: “I guess that’s what we get for FOLLOWING THE RULES and TAKING OUR BOOTS OFF LIKE THE SIGN SAYS.” Jackass: “Oh, haha, these are shoes not boots.” Me: “Well, your SHOES are covered in slush that is now all over the stairs.” Jackass, nervously: “oh, haha, I didn’t see the sign.” Ok, seriously? The sign is poster-sized and has an actual red STOP sign above it, and is staring you in the face when you walk in the door. You did so see it, you just thought you would ignore it.)
The client who told me that I was “not hearing what (he was) asking” and accused me of “talking in circles”. Buddy, do not start with me, you will not win. I am totally hearing what you are asking, you are just not liking what I am answering. Feel free to ask me the same thing eighteen times in slightly different ways, I will continue to give the same answer, and that is not talking in circles, it’s being consistent. And also being RIGHT.
80% of the people who work in my office. Well, ok, that’s an exaggeration. 75%.
Citizenship and Immigration. There is a longer post on this brewing, but suffice it to say I have just found out about some new rules going into effect in April which put unfair restrictions on whether our future adopted children may pass on citizenship to their own children. SO. MAD.
And last but not least, the guy who was speeding in the freezing rain, cut me off, and then promptly lost control of his vehicle. So then of course I had to hit the brakes, and while trying to avoid him and the other lanes of traffic I hit a concrete guardrail. Fortunately I was not going very fast (because hello, FREEZING RAIN ON A BRIDGE YOU MORON) and had some time to brake so it was more of a bump than a crash. And hooray for the indestructicar, because there is no visible damage. (Hey, remember that temporary fuel tank repair made in 2006 after an errant rock on a mountain in BC punctured the fuel tank? No? Well, it was supposed to buy me six months or so before needing a new tank, and the sucker is still holding. I swear this car has magical powers.)
Filed under: off topic
Well, that was quite the day. Hell of an inaugural speech – shades of Kennedy, harking back to the whole “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”, and I love the phrase “This is the price and the promise of citizenship.”
And let’s not overlook, “Mom. Mom, did you know the new president of the Nited States has brown skin like me?”
I will restrict myself to only two quotes. Because if just these two parts of his address come true, I’ll be a happy camper.
“As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake.”
“To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.”
Filed under: life in general
The pipe has thawed. The car is starting. I can go outside for two minutes without needing snowmobile mitts.
Also, the car went in for a routine maintenance check and they found…. nothing. Nothing needs done. It is a 1999 so that is kind of miraculous.
And I found the perfect new dresser and nightstand for Sport, so his old (and too small) ones can move into Little Brother’s room.
Things are looking up, in other words.
Apparently, cold enough to freeze the hot water pipe that leads to my dishwasher.
WHICH IS INDOORS, HAVE I MENTIONED THAT????
Filed under: offspring
I think I need a Blackberry. Not just because my phone is well-and-truly-dead, but because Sport’s constant barrage of questions in the car are beginning to be outside my area of expertise. Or even my area of vague, half-assed knowledge.
I feel confident about my answer to “Do airplanes need oil changes?” and I even did ok with “How can you tell a hedgehog from echidna?”. “How come Venus looks like a star but it not a star?” was a little shaky though, and then I stalled out completely on “How far is it from Venus to the sun?”. So either I need Bill Nye the Science Guy on speed dial, or the ability to google while at a stoplight.
(I looked up the answer to the last question when we got home. No, of course he didn’t forget about it by then.)
Unfortunately I did not win the lottery on the weekend, so we won’t be moving to Mexico or the Bahamas or any damn place that is warmer than this freaking frozen wasteland in which I live for reasons I am unable to recall at the moment. Seriously, last winter almost killed me, and I was on parental leave and didn’t even have to leave the house most days. This year the weather is just as bad, if not worse, and sadly I am back at work so barricading myself in the house with the heat turned up is not really an option.
In addition to putting me in a really pissy mood, the forecast for this week also meant that fixing my block heater was not optional. So tonight on the way home I stopped and bought a new plug. I waffled for a bit on which kind to buy… the cheap black one that you pry apart, or the slightly more expensive yellow one that you unscrew. I looked at the plugs both carefully, and decided on the black one and put the yellow one back. Then I had a change of heart and went back for the yellow one, so I grabbed it out of the bin again and bought it. Without looking at it carefully, since I had already spent 10 minutes examining it. Or what I thought was it. If you’re thinking this isn’t going to end well, you’re right.
Scene two: arrive at the parents’ house with a bag of McDonalds takeout so Sport can have supper while I wire on the new plug in their garage. Why didn’t I just call and see if they were home and could feed him supper? Why, because I discovered after leaving work that my cell phone was dead. Which was surprising, since I had charged it the night before and not used it at all… hmmm… sure enough when I plugged in the car charger – nothing. Nada. The sucker is dead. Chalk up another thing on the list of “Crap that went wrong today.” Anyway, I put the car in the garage, inspected their tool collection, and went out to the garage armed with an assortment of screwdrivers and pliers. I was merrily installing the plug when I realized I had forgotten to put the collar on first… so I had to unwire it, slide the collar on, and wire it up again. Finally it was all done, installed, secured, the whole bit. Ah, but would the block heater work now… I went for my extension cord to test it. Plugged the cord into the wall, leaned over to plug in the block heater, and … stared in disbelief.
Remember back when I grabbed the yellow plug out of the bin and didn’t look at it closely? Well, if I had, I might have noticed that it was not the same as the sample one stuck to the outside of the bin, or the one I had in my hand the first time, for that matter. Someone evidently pitched a different plug into the same bin. Funny thing, it looks exactly the same as the plug I had chosen, except for one tiny detail. It’s a high voltage plug. You know, where one of the prongs is set at a 90 degree angle to the other.
If you’ve ever met me, you will not be surprised to hear that my reaction to this discovery was, “Oh, for FUCK”S sake.” Followed by semi-hysterical laughter, because it had just been that kind of day. And now my hands are cold, my toes are frozen, there is oil on my dress pants, and I have a completely useless plug carefully wired to my block heater.
I was able to avoid a trip back to the store by stealing a plug from one of several pieced-together extension cords hanging up in the garage. (Relax, I’ll replace it later.) After another 30 minutes or so of fiddling and cursing, I had a functioning block heater again. So I’m pretty sure the car will start in the morning, despite the fact that it is currently minus 35. Just shoot me.
